Talon Konrath's Twenty Second Film Review
5 Reasons to Read This Blog
Joe Konrath: Welcome to The Best Worst Movies Ever Blog! We're going to watch as many critically hated films as we can, and do what we can to encourage you to watch them, too.
What kind of movies, you ask?
- IMDB Bottom 100!
- 10% or less fresh rating on Rotten Tomatoes!
- Razzie Award Winners!
- Box office bombs!
- Cult movies with terrible reputations!
But I want to make a somewhat serious point before we lapse into frivolity.
I don't like professional critics in general, and paid movie critics in particular. Those who can't do, teach. Those who can't teach, critique.
Back in my early years, circa 1970s, critics could make or break movies. It's difficult enough that there are gatekeepers who decide which movies get produced, effectively censoring those who don't have the money to create and distribute films on their own. To also have a small group of self-appointed 'experts' get paid for their entirely subjective opinions--especially when the vast majority of them have never made a film themselves--is a slap in the collective faces of the artists who no-doubt poured their hearts and souls into their projects.
No one intends to make a bad movie. They may lack budgets, or assistance, or even talent, but creating a film is an accomplishment that very few critics have ever managed. Yet the influence of critics had been historically weighty.
Happily, the Internet Age heralds the death of the Professional Critic. Now IMDB, Amazon, and the Audience Score on Rotten Tomatoes have revealed how the masses feel about movies, and often their opinions are vastly different than that of the critics. The balance of power has shifted, and I find this new way of rating movies to be more egalitarian, and more helpful.
But the Internet also has its share of haters. People who seem to get off on savaging movies, and those who make them, without backing up their opinions with even a shred of explanation, logic, or evidence.
I know that everyone has an opinion, and all opinions are valid. But, c'mon, be nice.
This blog isn't about hating. It's about celebrating movies. Movies that the world generally considers bad. You can find some enjoyment in anything. Even if that enjoyment wasn't intended by the filmmakers, it doesn't make their films any less entertaining.
Because I can, I'm forcing my unemployed, live-in teenage son to watch some of the worst movies of all time, and to write down his reactions. Talon and I collaborated on a zombie novel called GRANDMA?, and this blog will give him a chance to continue honing his writing skills, while also teaching what works (and doesn't work) with regard to narrative structure and characterization.
Talon: Hooray, I'm learning!
Joe: Plus, this is a life lesson. Joy shared is joy multiplied, and pain shared is pain divided.
Here's the first hundred best worst movies we review:
ALONE IN THE DARK
AN AMERICAN HIPPIE IN ISRAEL
EXORCIST 2: THE HERETIC
JAWS: THE REVENGE
LEONARD PART 6
GARBAGE PAIL KIDS THE MOVIE
HOWARD THE DUCK
BALLISTIC: ECKS vS. SEVER
SAMURAI COP 2
MAC AND ME
THE LAST AIRBENDER
TURKISH STAR WARS
BIRDEMIC: SHOCK AND TERROR
BIRDEMIC 2: THE RESSURECTION
MONSTER A GO-GO
PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE
ORGY OF THE DEAD
THE UNDERGROUND COMEDY MOVIE
IGOR AND THE LUNATICS
SHE DEVILS ON WHEELS
MANOS: HANDS OF FATE
THE GIANT SPIDER INVASION
THE WORM EATERS
JACK AND JILL
BLACK DEVIL DOLL FROM HELL
THE CORPSE GRINDERS
DEADLY WEAPONS/DOUBLE AGENT 73
NUDE ON THE MOON/BLASE STARR GOES NUDIST
BAD GIRLS GO TO HELL/ ANOTHER DAY ANOTHER MAN
THE RATS ARE COMING, THE WEREWOLVES ARE HERE
THE GHASTLY ONES
THE INCREDIBLY STRANGE CREATURES WHO STOPPED LIVING AND BECAME MIXED-UP ZOMBIES
THE ADVENTURES OF RAT PHINK AND BOO BOO
ALONE IN THE DARK II
HOUSE OF THE DEAD
MARDI GRAS MASSACRE
THEY DON'T CUT THE GRASS ANYMORE
FROM JUSTIN TO KELLY
NIGHT OF THE BLOODY APES
BABY GENIUSES/SUPERBABIES: BABY GENIUSES 2
PSYCHO KICKBOXER: THE DARK ANGEL
GODMONSTER OF INDIAN FLATS
DEATH BED: THE BED THAT EATS
CAN'T STOP THE MUSIC
THE SINFUL DWARF
BLUES BROTHERS 2000
THE BRIDE OF FRANK
BUCKY LARSON BORN TO BE A STAR
FREDYY GOT FINGERED
THE ADVENTURES OF PLUTO NASH
WRESTLING WOMEN VS THE AZTEC MUMMY
SANTA CLAUS CONQUERS THE MARTIANS
ALONE IN THE DARK II
BEYOND THE POSEIDON ADVENTURE
WALK OF SHAME
Along with too many Troma films to name.
We're also taking suggestions. If you want to see your favorite bad movie reviewed, post in the comments section.
Remember; we're not critics. We're two guys who love bad movies, and we're sharing that love (and pain) with you.
That's why we've created a simple rating system.
WATCH - SHARE - REWATCH
WATCH IT - Is this film worth seeing, even for all the wrong reasons?
SHARE IT - Should you try to convince your friends/family/enemies/complete strangers that they need to see this film?
REWATCH IT - Should you watch this film more than once? How long will you need to recover between viewings?
Each blog will also feature a YouTube video called:
TALON'S TWENTY SECOND FILM REVIEW! - At the end of each blog, Talon will sprout out five funny reasons why you should watch the next terrible movie we blog about.